At The Manual of You it, hopefully, shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that I offer bespoke training.
After all, it's about what you and your employees and company need.
My main focus is on mental health, striving over surviving, managing emotional overload, dealing with perfectionism, procrastination and feeling like an imposter, emotional intelligence, mental fitness and communication.
I also specialise in neurodiversity in the workplace.
It's my aim to always respect the full range of emotions that we humans have and not deny or repress those we label 'negative' but while working towards positive and strength-based outcomes.
My speciality is narratives and using the power of words and stories.
After all, it's about what you and your employees and company need.
My main focus is on mental health, striving over surviving, managing emotional overload, dealing with perfectionism, procrastination and feeling like an imposter, emotional intelligence, mental fitness and communication.
I also specialise in neurodiversity in the workplace.
It's my aim to always respect the full range of emotions that we humans have and not deny or repress those we label 'negative' but while working towards positive and strength-based outcomes.
My speciality is narratives and using the power of words and stories.
However, I don't offer classic band-aid, type training.
I'm not here to appease HR or fill a training quota for management.
I seek to offer real insights and benefits for employees and it's important I work with companies whose values align with my own.
That means no stress reduction training for companies that expect their workers to do more than their fair share of the work, for example.
Likewise, my training offers usually come with a twist.
Let me give you an example...
A friend called me and asked what was up with this 'giraffe language' and why organisations train people in giraffe training when it doesn't actually work in real life.
"What do you mean 'giraffe language'?" I asked, quite confused.
"Well, you're told to only speak using 'I' and never 'you'. Use open-ended questions. Be diplomatic. All that. But it doesn't work in real life."
"Can you give me an example?"
"Sure. So, I had to send out an email to my team. I was trying to complete a task but was missing some vital information and wasn't sure who sat on it. So, I just emailed the whole team. Then I got an angry email back from the employee who sat with the answer who felt my email was ridiculing her and making her look like a fool to her peers and superiors. I was very puzzled and using giraffe language asked what she meant. She felt I could have done more work at my end to figure out she sat with this information and have come directly to her instead of including everyone in the email. I apologised and said I didn't know she was the one who had the information and I was also sorry if she felt put on the spot. It had not been my intention.
And so we talked back and forth and I tried to use all the communication tricks I knew but she was still angry with me, so the communication hadn't worked to make her feel better and I went home that Friday and felt rubbish the whole weekend, so it certainly hadn't helped me either. So, what good is this communication training?"
She had a very good point.
We go in, as trainers and facilitators, and talk about emotional intelligence and all the right things to say, using all the right buzz words and we know that in that moment, people are going to lap it all up and think it sounds super cool but it won't last. They're unlikely to succeed in application. Why?
Because if it was that easy to change human interaction and our own behaviours, I wouldn't have a job! The reason people are in therapy for years it that it takes years to change. And just because you've walked through the doors of your employer, doesn't mean all your personal problems have been hung neatly in the wardrobe for the day, only to be put back on once it's time to go home again.
In the above example, it wasn't about mastering communication - at least not as we know it. It was about recognising that the hurt employee was feeling shame. She had been triggered by her own insecurities about being found out and feeling made a fool off (probably childhood hang-ups). And my friend had felt shamed in return for being called out as a bad team leader and she'd carried the employee's projection of shame home with her for the weekend, presuming it was her own feelings, rather than recognising it was her employees feelings that she'd all too gladly accepted as her own and nurtured for days in the corners of her own dark mind.
So, we're not needing traditional communication training - we're needing to understand the underlying processes of ourselves and our peers.
Much like anti-bullying training. Everyone will cheer on when they hear about the methods to combat workplace bullying, everyone will agree it's a bad thing, everyone will be keen on eliminating it and doing their bit to ensure it stops. So, why does it remain a problem?
Because no bully thinks they're a bully!
We're all the 'good guys' in our own narratives and we create stories around how we're the ones who've been wronged and our behaviours and reactions are justified.
We don't need anti-bully training. We need self-awareness training. We need everyone to recognise that every single one of us have at one point or another used bullying tactics, whether at work, in our romantic relationships, among family and friends or with our children. Almost like AA, we can't do anything about the problem until we recognise we have a problem.
I'm not here to appease HR or fill a training quota for management.
I seek to offer real insights and benefits for employees and it's important I work with companies whose values align with my own.
That means no stress reduction training for companies that expect their workers to do more than their fair share of the work, for example.
Likewise, my training offers usually come with a twist.
Let me give you an example...
A friend called me and asked what was up with this 'giraffe language' and why organisations train people in giraffe training when it doesn't actually work in real life.
"What do you mean 'giraffe language'?" I asked, quite confused.
"Well, you're told to only speak using 'I' and never 'you'. Use open-ended questions. Be diplomatic. All that. But it doesn't work in real life."
"Can you give me an example?"
"Sure. So, I had to send out an email to my team. I was trying to complete a task but was missing some vital information and wasn't sure who sat on it. So, I just emailed the whole team. Then I got an angry email back from the employee who sat with the answer who felt my email was ridiculing her and making her look like a fool to her peers and superiors. I was very puzzled and using giraffe language asked what she meant. She felt I could have done more work at my end to figure out she sat with this information and have come directly to her instead of including everyone in the email. I apologised and said I didn't know she was the one who had the information and I was also sorry if she felt put on the spot. It had not been my intention.
And so we talked back and forth and I tried to use all the communication tricks I knew but she was still angry with me, so the communication hadn't worked to make her feel better and I went home that Friday and felt rubbish the whole weekend, so it certainly hadn't helped me either. So, what good is this communication training?"
She had a very good point.
We go in, as trainers and facilitators, and talk about emotional intelligence and all the right things to say, using all the right buzz words and we know that in that moment, people are going to lap it all up and think it sounds super cool but it won't last. They're unlikely to succeed in application. Why?
Because if it was that easy to change human interaction and our own behaviours, I wouldn't have a job! The reason people are in therapy for years it that it takes years to change. And just because you've walked through the doors of your employer, doesn't mean all your personal problems have been hung neatly in the wardrobe for the day, only to be put back on once it's time to go home again.
In the above example, it wasn't about mastering communication - at least not as we know it. It was about recognising that the hurt employee was feeling shame. She had been triggered by her own insecurities about being found out and feeling made a fool off (probably childhood hang-ups). And my friend had felt shamed in return for being called out as a bad team leader and she'd carried the employee's projection of shame home with her for the weekend, presuming it was her own feelings, rather than recognising it was her employees feelings that she'd all too gladly accepted as her own and nurtured for days in the corners of her own dark mind.
So, we're not needing traditional communication training - we're needing to understand the underlying processes of ourselves and our peers.
Much like anti-bullying training. Everyone will cheer on when they hear about the methods to combat workplace bullying, everyone will agree it's a bad thing, everyone will be keen on eliminating it and doing their bit to ensure it stops. So, why does it remain a problem?
Because no bully thinks they're a bully!
We're all the 'good guys' in our own narratives and we create stories around how we're the ones who've been wronged and our behaviours and reactions are justified.
We don't need anti-bully training. We need self-awareness training. We need everyone to recognise that every single one of us have at one point or another used bullying tactics, whether at work, in our romantic relationships, among family and friends or with our children. Almost like AA, we can't do anything about the problem until we recognise we have a problem.
So, if you're interested in taking your employee training to the next level and look at what's going on at the core to try and ensure some real change, get in touch and let me know your needs so we can create a tailored package for you, your company and the people who work there.
