The Manual of You (mini edition)
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the thing I can and the wisdom to know the difference
No, this isn't AA but the wisdom in these words is so profound that I wish we were taught the Serenity Prayer in school. Too often people are trying to change that which they cannot, getting stuck in a pattern of not accepting 'what is' but instead wasting time and energy on 'what ifs' and the consequences are often long-lasting and problematic when they don't need to be.
Changing our stories of feeling stuck starts with awareness. You don't know what you don't know so a fundamental part of change is knowledge to increase awareness. It's then essential to understand acceptance and its potential as well as its limitations to that you can go forward and ensure real and lasting change - via action!
This is the Triple A Model(TM) that guides the The Manual of You, explored via the power of words, storytelling and curiosity.
Changing our stories of feeling stuck starts with awareness. You don't know what you don't know so a fundamental part of change is knowledge to increase awareness. It's then essential to understand acceptance and its potential as well as its limitations to that you can go forward and ensure real and lasting change - via action!
This is the Triple A Model(TM) that guides the The Manual of You, explored via the power of words, storytelling and curiosity.
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The Details
This is a 4-week, 1.5 hour programme, where we'll meet once a week, over Zoom or in person (initially only in Copenhagen) to share stories and learn new narratives to help us write the Manual of You.
This workshop is designed to be accessible and useable regardless of where you're at on your personal development journey.
It's important to note that this is not group therapy and it's not designed to 'fix' or 'heal' anyone. It's for us to come together and create a small community of likeminded, kind, respectful and engaged people. We'll practice confidentiality so it's important that you attend these sessions from somewhere private, away from family and distractions. It's, likewise, important that you stay engaged, so I'll expect the camera to be on, though you'll be fully in control of what and when you want to talk and share. But, obviously, the more open we dare to be, the easier it'll be for others to feel safe to open up too. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability.
But I also want to you look after yourself - so if need to eat while we're together, go ahead and eat and if you want to show up in your pjs, please do!
All in all we'll be spending 6 hour together during this workshop, coving a massive amount of stuff in a manageable and easily-accessible way and you'll also walk away with a printable workbook, all for the same cost of 2 sessions with a regular psychologist - 2100 DKK (that's just under 350 kroner per hour together).
The format is as follows:
This is a 4-week, 1.5 hour programme, where we'll meet once a week, over Zoom or in person (initially only in Copenhagen) to share stories and learn new narratives to help us write the Manual of You.
This workshop is designed to be accessible and useable regardless of where you're at on your personal development journey.
It's important to note that this is not group therapy and it's not designed to 'fix' or 'heal' anyone. It's for us to come together and create a small community of likeminded, kind, respectful and engaged people. We'll practice confidentiality so it's important that you attend these sessions from somewhere private, away from family and distractions. It's, likewise, important that you stay engaged, so I'll expect the camera to be on, though you'll be fully in control of what and when you want to talk and share. But, obviously, the more open we dare to be, the easier it'll be for others to feel safe to open up too. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability.
But I also want to you look after yourself - so if need to eat while we're together, go ahead and eat and if you want to show up in your pjs, please do!
All in all we'll be spending 6 hour together during this workshop, coving a massive amount of stuff in a manageable and easily-accessible way and you'll also walk away with a printable workbook, all for the same cost of 2 sessions with a regular psychologist - 2100 DKK (that's just under 350 kroner per hour together).
The format is as follows:
Week 1: Life Audit & the Foundations of Being Human
Week 2: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Week 3: Emotional Management
Week 4: Connection & Community
But, the idea is that this won't be the end! Hopefully this programme will bring people together and allow us to create a community of support that carries on beyond these four weeks. Ideally, you'd want to join my Women's Circle afterwards (for those classifying as such... if enough people who don't identify as women join, we'll create our own cool community) for a catch-up and further learning for those located in Copenhagen (or even across Denmark if big enough communities form or via Zoom for international people).
- We'll start off with doing a 'life audit' to gauge how satisfied you are in different areas of your life at this moment in time and create some goals around which areas you'd like to improve in
- I'll explain how evolution have shaped our brains and a bit about neuroscience to help you understand that you're probably not weird, broken or otherwise in the way that you think
- I'll explain the fight, flight, freeze response and why so many of us are triggered in this way without knowing it or how to move away from it
- And finally we'll talk about labels and how they can be as helpful as they can be hindering
Week 2: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
- This week we'll look at different external narratives and how they shape us and look at externalising our problems to gain perspective
- We'll explore our own beliefs and worldviews (stories) and whether we find them helpful or we'd like to change some of them
- And finally, we'll explore why compassion is so important, how to be kinder to ourselves and reduce (self)judgement
Week 3: Emotional Management
- In week three, we'll explore why our brains hate uncertainty and why and how we seek to gain more control in troublesome times
- We'll explore the differences between helpful and unhelpful control, using a model called The Locus of Control (while briefly addressing why CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) can be problematic while also being an awesome therapeutic model)
- We'll talk about some of the systemic issue we face (such as discrimination, stigma and the not-so-great-bits about the Danish health system)
- We'll also look at what an emotion is and look at common struggles such as stress, depression, anxiety, anger, overwhelm and burnout as well as briefly address trauma
Week 4: Connection & Community
- In our final week together (for now) we'll learn how to
- communicate using a framework called NVC
- Address the curse of comparison, perfectionism and the imposter syndrome
- We'll look at why assumptions can be so hindering and harmful
- And learn about the Winner Triangle
- Before looking at our own responsibilities when it comes to creating communities
- And finally, redo our Life Audit to see if we've made any shifts
But, the idea is that this won't be the end! Hopefully this programme will bring people together and allow us to create a community of support that carries on beyond these four weeks. Ideally, you'd want to join my Women's Circle afterwards (for those classifying as such... if enough people who don't identify as women join, we'll create our own cool community) for a catch-up and further learning for those located in Copenhagen (or even across Denmark if big enough communities form or via Zoom for international people).
Summary
New cohort in May 2023 - require via Contact!
- 4 Weeks
- 1.5 hours each week (the first session is 2 hours)
- Via Zoom (in-person possible)
- 5-10 people per group
- E-workbook included
- 2100 DKK/£250/€285 per person (introductory fee)
New cohort in May 2023 - require via Contact!
Next Step...
If you liked the workshop and want to carry on learning about yourself, you might want to consider joinig The Manual of You Programme next
The Manual of You - DIY Programme
In this ground-breaking, intensive course, spanning across 5 months, I'm asking for commitment and in return offer you the insight and tools to become your own DIY therapist and coach - meaning that I'll teach you how to solve your own problems, become more emotionally self-aware and resilient, giving you the know-how and the strategies to transform your life.
But it won't be easy!
I'm looking for truly committed people, who are fed up with finding themselves in the same cycle of unhelpful behaviours, confused as to 'why this always happens to me' and how to get un-stuck.
People who want to put in the effort and time into changing, while help build up others via a supportive network.
How much money, but more importantly, time, do you spend on looking good, or on clothes, or on activities to distract yourself from real life?
What are you willing to pay and commit to time-wise to feel good within and no longer feel the need to avoid the humdrum of daily life? To break a life-time pattern of stress, judgement, of people-pleasing and playing small? To understand other people's behaviours and your, at times, strained relationship with your family and your partner?
To feel more at peace and rest within yourself?
I can't, and won't, promises miracles, because at the end of the day, it's about how much you put into it, but I will promise amazing insights and breath-taking 'aha' moments - or your money back!
Modules
Module 1
Becoming
We'll explore your legacy, early childhood patterns and the role of genetics and their impact on your life today, using attachment style theory and transactional analysis tools.
Module 2
Believing
We'll carry on looking at the beliefs you hold on to today and the environment that shaped them, for better or worse, and how they impact the story you tell about your life and relationships. We'll be using theory from narrative coaching and value tools.
Module 3
Belonging
How we think and feel hugely impact our sense of belonging and our connections, which are essential for our well-being. Learning how to grow our emotional intelligence (EQ/EI) and resilience, and applying both
acceptance commitment and compassion focussed therapy tools we'll increase our sense of belonging, while also starting to understand how metacognition work.
Module 4
Building
How we act and react, our behaviours, have an important impact on our emotional well-being and our relationships, both with ourselves and others. So, let's start building better ways and make healthier choices, going straight back to ancient Greece and the origins of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) - stoicism - and add Kansted's Choice Paradigm to the mix. We'll also add a layer to our understanding of metacognition.
Module 5
Being
In our final module, we'll pull together everything we've learned before asking some essential existential questions about(your) life and dipping our toes into the ancient art, backed my modern neuro-science, of mindfulness, to become present, and finally live a life of intent, being awake and free from the ghosts of our past.
Format
Over the course of 5 months we'll cover Kansted's Realignment Model, going from simply existing to living in the presence, being fully awake:
- 5 x 6 hours of online teaching/engagement (Zoom)
- 5 x 1.5 hours group coaching (Zoom)
- 2 x 1 hour individual consultation (Zoom)
- Small group of max 12 people
- Email support
- Workbook
- Tribe building: A private Facebook group to meet others who've done or is doing the course, discuss and support each other
- Meeting the first 3 Mondays of each month (3 x 2 hours) either 11am - 1pm or 6.30 - 8.30 pm GMT
- The first or last Saturday each month (6 hours) 10am - 5pm
- Group coaching calls on a Tuesday (Monday team) or Thursday (Saturday team) 6.30 - 8.30 pm
Your investment:
14.995 DKK/£1669/€2199
14.995 DKK/£1669/€2199
