I work with autistic adults and we often discuss the cost of emotional labour.
That might look like this: The emotional labour of showing up at work, pretending to fit in and that the work conditions are okay, is high.
However, the emotional labour of having to disclose that you’re autistic, when you don’t want to, and explain your needs to your manager, or others, to have them met – having to share private information to be allowed to be you - is also very high.
It's not a matter of which option is better or has less emotional labour attached.
It’s about calculating which emotional labour will benefit you the most in the long run, despite the immediate costs.
Often, it seems easier to persevere than out oneself.
Often, it seems easier to disregard one's mental health and needs than to ask for them to be respected and met by others.
But that's not just relevant to autistic people, is it?
In all our daily choices there is an emotional cost and we tend to choose based on what will offer us the most immediate pleasure and reduce pain – but in the short term.
The straw that broke the camel's back was a short-term decision based on the easy way out in the moment, based on pleasure over pain, avoidance over confrontation.
But it, nevertheless, broke the camel’s back so was it the best decision in the long run?
Emotional labour may not be paid but it certainly comes at a high cost.
What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering?
Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it.
After all, this is the Manual of YOU!
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant!
(This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!)
#CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice
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