Ignoring hardship and pain is not stoicism or positivity.
Wallowing in it, is not validation but staying stuck.
Feeling pain and acknowledging your hardship but also finding the space to think "what am I grateful for? What has been good? What can I learn from this?" is positive psychology.
Telling your mirror reflection that you're pretty and smart and a super hero when you feel ugly, stupid and useless are not helpful affirmations, as lying to yourself won’t establish the needed self-respect for growing self-esteem.
Telling the inner voice that is criticising you to f off is fighting negativity with negativity.
Telling your inner critic that even if it was true that you're ugly, stupid and useless, it really doesn't define your worth.
To acknowledge that you've received confirmation elsewhere that you're not as ugly as you think, or as stupid as you feel, or as useless as you presume is offering your brain data points to counteract its assertions, in a much more helpful manner than fluffy affirmations.
Or, looking at the evidence of what you can do – work achievements, completed degrees, accomplisments, awards, rewards, getting dates, getting to adulthood are evidence that you're not as ugly, stupid or useless as you think.
Those are healthy strategies for self-talk.
Realising that you weren’t born with an internal critic but it was installed in you by others and to not identify with it as yours, but rather notice is for what it is - a bully - and addressing the bully with kindness and curiosity - are helpful strategies for lasting change.
What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering?
But remember - it's your life, your choice!
After all, this is the Manual of YOU!
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
#CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou
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