When someone says something mean about you - especially if it's to your face - it's hard not to take it personally. What else could it be?
I'll tell you: It's not about you. It's about them.
It's a manifestation of their own issues, projected onto you.
You now have a choice whether you take hold of this projection as if it belongs to you, or you reject it.
Likewise, when you react to someone - if they make you feel annoyed, for example - it's not actually about them, but you.
How can I know?
Because what you find annoying, another person won't.
What someone finds disgusting, someone else won't.
What you find unacceptable, someone else won't.
So, what you find annoying is not a universal truth. It’s about your concept of what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Why do you take things personally then?
Because whatever has been projected your way, has hit a nerve.
If you know you're hilarious and feel confident in this, you won't care if someone calls you unfunny. That’s their problem, not yours.
However, if you feel insecure about your looks and someone calls you ugly, you'll take it personally because it hits a nerve. A nerve that belongs to you.
But for someone to judge you as ugly, it only shows that they're struggling with their own issues around societal standards of beauty and their fear of being rejected due to their looks. But it’s a hell of a lot easier to project their internalised self-rejection onto you than to do the work on themselves and face their fears.
If they did not have their own issues around physical appearances, it'd never occur to them to call you ugly.
It's a 'them' problem, not a 'you' problem.
But if you're taking it personally, it's because you're making it a 'you' problem, not them.
What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering?
Remember though - it's your life, your choice!
After all, this is the Manual of YOU!
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
#CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou
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