Many of us say we ‘over-analyse’ but what does that even mean?
That we replay events to death? Ruminate? Lie awake at night?
I’ve found that when people say they ‘over-analyse’ they go over events until they’ve made themselves the problem – torturing themselves with guilt, blame and criticism.
That’s not analysing anything. That’s self-harming. You’re beating yourself up. You’re constructing a new narrative, a story, a truth that’s based on making yourself the problem. It’s narrow, limited and in no way nuanced.
It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on others.
It hurts yourself but it also hurts your relationships as people can’t trust you to have honest conversations as you will make it about yourself.
Ironically, over-analysing stems from low self-esteem and a fear of being the problem, of being a burden, of taking up too much space and attention and yet our way of handling the situations that we’re over-analysing is to make it all about us – the opposite of what we’re wanting.
So, no, you’re not over-analysing. You’re constructing a narrative that’s based on putting too much responsibility on yourself in a way that serves no one.
It’d be much better if you learned to analyse like a scientist – look at the data, separate logic from emotions, give other people due and joint responsibility and make an informed decision.
What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering?
Remember though - it's your life, your choice!
After all, this is the Manual of YOU!
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
#CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou
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