I had a client tell me, quietly, that she'd felt ashamed after a harsh comment she’d made about her colleagues in our previous session. She felt ashamed by her comment, by me having witnessed it and that she felt shame at all as that wasn't a compassionate way of being (something we were working on). But as I told her, there is nothing wrong with feeling ashamed, or shame, or guilt, or anger or any of the other emotions labelled as 'negative' or 'bad'. All our emotions serve a purpose, and the idea is to listen to them, not ignore them, avoid them, numb them or deny them. If we're feeling something we label as negative, it's a good idea to listen to ourselves and tap into why and what we'd like to do about it, because all of our emotions are signalling: Do more of this or do less of that. As Shakespeare said: Nothing is neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so. The emotions Western society has labelled as negative can be thought of as bad, as something to avoid or numb, or it could be seen as something good, as there to help us make the right decision or to do the right thing, to live closer to our values and beliefs or to inform us it’s time to change our behaviours. Taking a step back when feeling or experiencing something we perceive as negative, telling ourselves that this is neither good nor bad, it simply is what it is and meeting and being with your emotions from that place can give us the distance we need to not drown in our emotions but, instead, create solutions. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice
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AboutRead, follow, enjoy, like (loathe, object to) my daily, micro blog, challenging common ways of thinking about thinking and new ways to feel about feelings. Archives
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