In 1853 Henry David Thoreau said: "How prompt we are to satisfy the hunger and thirst of our bodies, how slow to satisfy the hunger and thirst of our souls." How thoroughly we understand what's needed to become physically fit - the sacrifices, the hard work, the commitment and the time it takes. How poorly we are at understanding our minds' need for the same kind of patience, care and commitment. How quickly we are at reassuring a dear friend that they have nothing to be ashamed of, while we hide our own shame behind self-imposed stigma. How generously we allow others to live by one set of rules guided by kindness, and how ruthlessly we judge ourselves, creating separate, harsher and unrealistic rules. Whether 1853 or the 21st century – what’s changed? What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice
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Decision paralysis – it’s real and it’s very unpleasant. However, not making a decision is in itself a decision, so at least you’ve come this far. You can’t have it all – at least not all at once. You have to choose. And with each choice, something else will have to go by the wayside. That might cause you anguish or pain, but without choosing, everything will go by the wayside and you risk, eventually, being left with nothing. There is no such thing as truly staying stuck. It’s just a question of whether you’ll make a choice and step forward or someone or something else will do it for you, be that circumstances or time but forward you will move, whether you choose to be an active participant or not. There’s no such thing as true indecision, there’s just passive and active participation. Either way, you’ll move forward and it’ll still be your choice how much control you’re willing to give up in the process. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice Addiction is an expression of an unmet need. There may be a genetic component as well as trauma. It’s not simply a lack of willpower or due to laziness. It’s complicated so let’s treat it with due respect, and care more about figuring out the cause than cast blind judgement. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice I see people holding back because they don't know enough, because they haven't studied enough, because they haven't read enough - they are not experts yet. I get it. The fear of being wrong. The fear of doing wrong. The fear of judgement or rejection. Or, the fear of hurting someone and being unethical. The problem with being an expert is that you've claimed there is one truth, and you're the beholder. Know a lot. Speak with authority, if you like. Specialise. But, always make sure you're showing, role modelling, telling, disclaiming that you are portraying one truth, one perspective and that there is always room for growth, to be challenged, to learn a new way, a new perspective, a new truth, that there is room for change - otherwise, the only thing you're an expert in is in how to be wrong (but that’s just my opinion). What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice Growing up we're taught to listen to answer. When our parents asked us something as children, they'd be looking for an answer - this might even be emphasised with an 'answer me!' And teachers don't tend to ask rhetorical questions in the classroom, nor do managers later in life. Soon, we're copying this behaviour, seen in the adults we grew up around, and we jump in to answer, even if the question isn’t even aimed at us, or if a friend expresses a problem, we might say: "I know what you should do!" That’s the art of conversation, after all, isn’t it? To listen and then respond, right? But, what if there was a different way to respond? A different type of answer? What I’m about to tell you is a game-changer. It’ll change your relationships – with your friends, your family, your partner, your colleagues and even with yourself. It’ll prevent you from falling into old, familiar patterns of arguing and interacting. It’ll strengthen your connections, it’ll educate you far more than any advice, it’ll breed greater understanding and it’ll make you instantly more likeable and popular. And it’s a super simple formula - but just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy! Next time you’re in conversation with someone, don’t listen to answer, don’t listen to fix, don’t listen to find a solution or give advice or even share your opinion. Listen to understand. What are they wanting to communicate? What are they trying to express? What’s going on for them? What does their reality look like? Why are they sharing this? What are they needing and what are they wanting from you? And if you’re dying to jump in with your own words, let them be curious questions instead, or by repeating what you heard to make sure you understood what they were trying to say. Listening to answer is not the art of conversation. It’s the art of making the conversation about you and your cleverness. Listening to understand is the true art of caring conversations, of deepening and strengthening communications, relationships and connections. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice How do you behave when you're the manager? What about when you're being managed? Are you a sore loser and an arrogant winner? Do you offer others the benefit of the doubt when they mess up? Do you wish you would be given the benefit of the doubt when you mess up? The way we act, react and interact changes depending on how good or bad we feel about something, someone or ourselves. What if that wasn't the case? What if you operated from your best self? What if you treated others with the generosity you wish for and upon yourself? What if you became more thoughtful and mindful before engaging outwardly? What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice Most of us are bad at accepting compliments. We can try and work on that - say thank you when receiving one and grow our self-esteem and comfort in accepting them. But if that feels uncomfortable too how about thinking of it like this: The person complimenting you has taken the time to notice something about you and decided it was worth voicing - thank them for taking the time and making the effort - maybe you can make it about their kindness instead of your discomfort. After all, they've offered you a verbal gift and you're rejecting it when denying the truth of their statements, which doesn’t show a lot of gratitude. And this method comes with a bonus! You’ll make them feel good about themselves – for being the kind of person to notice and say nice things. Either way, learn to take a compliment. It's a nice act and we could do with more of those. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice I presume you all know the saying: Treat others like you want to be treated. With kindness Respect Dignity Consideration Offer others a voice, a chance, fairness... I'd like to see a society where we do more of this, but you know what I’d like even more? A society where we treat others how they’d like to be treated. (My March journal entry is all about the dangers of assuming we know what others want.) What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice I’ve previously written about asking an interesting question, one that moves us forward instead of getting us stuck. With everything going on in the media and world, it can be easy to assume that human beings are inherently horrible, selfish and cruel. To me – are humans good or bad – isn’t an interesting question though. The interesting question to me is: "Can we change"? And, "what will YOU be doing about it?" (I highly recommend that everyone read Humankind by Rutger Bergmann to challenge any inner human critic. He has a hopeful theory to share...) What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice I don’t know if you know – but you don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations. But also, please remember, other people don’t have to live up to yours. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever I, or anyone else shares, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice |
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