 Adam Grant writes in Think Again that the path to embracing mistakes is to remember mistakes are essential for progress. Jeff Bezos said that people who are often right listen a lot and they change their minds frequently. If you don't change your mind frequently, you're going to be wrong, a lot. Change your relationship to mistakes and being wrong and you'll change your life. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice
0 Comments
 Big organisations, small businesses, romantic relationships, family dinners, the classroom... We bring disruptive energy into every space we enter, projecting our insecurities onto others and then blaming them for what we see in them which is our mirrored reflection. We mix and match, bringing the frustration of work home, and the annoyances with the other half into the boardroom. We transfer our family interaction onto our patients, clients, customers and pupils. We read the news and rant on social media because our limited viewpoint isn't represented and holding others accountable for our lack of speaking up or making a difference. We blame, we blame, we blame. We point, we react, we judge. But where is the act of taking responsibility for the energy we bring? For the projections and assumptions? For our inability to understand and manage our own emotions? For forcing our under-researched and biased opinions upon others? Knowing what are our assumptions, hang-ups, insecurities, fears and problems are, is rare. Noticing when we project instead of acknowledging our emotions as ours is rarer. Taking responsibility is seldom role-modelled at home, at school, in governments or politics, on the news or on social media. How are we supposed to know better? Because we recognise it in others. We blame others for doing 'it'. We know what ‘it’ looks like when done to us. You looked at the image and thought: "I know someone who does that!" But did you look at the image and think: "I do that!"? When are you going to role model emotional containment yourself and be the change you wish to see? What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  I saw a client the other day. They'd been intensely anxious about a potential punishment. The quick solution would be to seek out the punisher and ask if trouble was on its way or not. But that wasn't the right solution, or the best, for this problem. Because it wasn't the problem that was the problem - it wasn't whether or not they'd get punished that really mattered. The real problem was the reasons they feared the potential of punishment so much - the problem of being found out; of having been found guilty of making a mistake; of not being good enough; the fear of judgement. Now, it might seem a logical move to focus on this fear and address whether other people's judgement matter or not. But again, is that really the best or right solution? Because the problem isn't really other people's judgement, or other people not thinking we're good enough, or that other people know we've guilty of mistakes. The real problem is our relationship with ourselves - the Top Judge. After all, if you like yourself enough to accept yourself, flaws and all, and if you like yourself enough to think you're good enough as you are, you won't fear other people's judgement the same. You won't fear being 'found out' because you're already living authentically you. You've come out of the closet as imperfect and you're not shaming yourself for it. The problem is seldom the problem and sometimes the solution isn't the real solution either. Dig deeper. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  There's a famous cartoon of a man asking WHO WANTS CHANGE? Everyone in the crowd raises their hands. WHO WANTS TO CHANGE? Everyone in the crowd looks away awkwardly. WHO WILL LEAD THE CHANGE? Everyone runs away. Change is often wanted but it's hard to do. Because change is scary. Even when we're not happy with the status quo, the brain likes familiarity. Even unhappy 'stuckness' offers certainty and a sense of control. Change can feel overwhelming. When we think of the change we want we often use words with a negative connotation, like 'move away from'. We use avoidance language like 'I want to lose weight as I looked awful on my last holiday'. 'Away' goals are harder to sustain than positive 'towards' goals. So, try thinking of change coming from a positive mindset: 'I want to feel empowered', 'I want to more of…', 'I strive towards'... And see what happens. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  No person is an island - that's because you cannot live unaffected by others or the world around you. Not only are we interconnected, but we need each other too. But imagine you did live on the island of your dreams. What would it look like? Who's on it? How do you feel about your island? And if you were to be relocated to a new island - how would that feel? Who would you bring this time? What material goods would you need? If you actually did imagine this - how did it feel? How might this exercise inspire you to change? And create the island that you want for yourself? What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  Your past isn't the problem but your relationship with it can be. I do not want to dismiss the power and pain of past trauma, but there are plenty of examples of people living happy and rich lives, despite a terrible past. Though, it’s never about who had it worse or who has the biggest right to feel the most upset. Regardless of the severity of past pain such experiences can leave us feeling unjustly treated, focusing on bitterness or resentment, or helpless, or angry, or indifferent. The past might refer to childhood or it may refer to your last job or relationship - anything that happened up till a minute ago. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with your past and past experiences but it's worth noting that it's your thoughts about it that will lead to whatever outcome you're experiencing - happiness, feeling stuck, bitterness, calmness, acceptance, resentment, sadness, indifference, anger. That's the power of thoughts. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  Thinking a highly-priced item is better than a medium or low-cost item is called the Veblen Effect. It's an assumption made based on our inability to afford it and that it's scarce and limited. It's not necessarily a truth. You're paying for the belief that this is better than something else and that there's less of it and thus, that you are more unique. Sometimes it's true - a Ferrari can do things a Honda can't. Sometimes it's not - many luxury clothes are made in the same factory as low-cost items. We ‘buy’ into a narrative around cost but we don’t always – maybe even seldom – get more value for money. What you’re actually purchasing is a feeling. A feeling of exclusivity. A feeling of being special. We pay to feel extraordinary, unique, superior, better than… But we all bleed the same; we’re all capable of heartbreak; we all worry; we all need connection; we all cry; we all want happiness; we all love and need love in return; we all want to feel safe. Maybe it’s not so bad to be like everyone else… What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  Refusing to let go of something negative - a feeling, a memory, a comment made - can cause grief. Often bitterness. Nearly always resentment. Who are you hurting? Who is gaining from it? Does it solve it for you? Do you learn anything while stuck in the refusal of letting go? Do you move forward? Does it make you happy? What about potential…? The potential of letting go? The opportunities that letting go offer? The possibilities that come with letting go? When stuck in resentment, ask yourself: Who will you hurt? Who will gain? Will it allow you to move forward? Will it make you happier? What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  What have we gained by labelling certain emotions as good or bad? Or, perhaps more importantly, what have we lost by this act? None of our emotions are either good nor bad, they are all important signals. Signals of pleasure and joy, signals to pause, signals to re-assess and change, signals of satisfaction, signals to move away, signals of what is okay and what is not. If we were lost at sea, in the dark, we'd never condemn a lighthouse's guidance. We'd rejoice. We'd pay heed to it. Seek it out. Once safe, we'd change direction. Try again. Try anew. Knowing we'd always be able to find a safe harbour if we just follow the guiding light. What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice  This is an odd message coming from a therapeutic coach. I work in the industry of change, personal development and growth. People seek out counsellors and life coaches to change. And yet, they resist. They don't 'do the work'. They stay stuck. They blame themselves. They get angry or sad. They criticise themselves. They cry, rage, rant, and go ‘round in circles. What if you've grown up never feeling good enough? Always striving to improve. Always being told to do better, to try harder. Never feeling understood or accepted. What if this has made you so unhappy, that you now seek change? Seek a better life, a happier life. Seek a different way of being. What if coming to see someone like me, offering you insights, suggestions, tools, strategies, options and tasks makes some part of you feel not good enough, yet again? Not accepted as you are. What if your resistance is a small voice saying: See me! Understand me! Accept me as I am! Flaws and all. What if you're seeking change based on minimising the unacceptable part of yourself? The ugly? The sad? The stuck? The misunderstood? The unwanted? The rejected? The humiliated? What if true transformation is to accept what is and not seek what could be? What's the story you’re telling yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though, with whatever you read online, take what you like and leave the rest because it's your life and, therefore, your choice of how to live it. After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - make kind choices and stay flawsome! Don’t forget, you’re fucking brilliant! (This was written by a human – a dyslexic one at that! Yay!) #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou #YourLifeYourChoice |
|
The Manual of You CVR 42444182
Copyright (c) 2023 Teri Kansted @ The Manual of You(TM) |
|
