Author Byron Katie tells us to look at a statement or problem that's causing pain - maybe it's "I'm stupid" or "they don't like me" or "I won't survive this break-up" or "he's selfish" or "my boss is a bully" or "I'm an imposter" and she asks us to ask ourselves: Is it true? Can you be absolutely certain that it's true? How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought to be true? Who or what would you be without that thought? Now, go back and ask yourself these questions again, but pause to really reflect before moving on to the next and see what happens to the power of your statement, problem, belief or assumption. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou
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Don Quixote believed a windmill to be a monster and wasted time on an attack. Even when realising his mistake, he convinced himself that he was still right as he'd rather believe a lie than to be seen as a fool. How might he have spent his time if he'd instead examined his assumption and not blindly considering it a truth or fact? If he'd chosen to move forward rather than to hold on to wrongful assumptions for the sake of his pride? How might you? What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou I’m a terrible dancer who loves to dance because it’s so much fun – am I skilful? I’m rubbish at painting but it brings me such joy – am I skilful? I’ve always struggled with maths but I find a way around it – am I skilful? I can look at any given situation and find it useful, helpful, productive, entertaining, enriching, educational, even if I suck at it or fail – is that skilful? What might you not be good at simply because you haven't given it enough time and put in enough effort, because you're denying yourself the truth of your talents or because you’re using the wrong measurements for what makes someone skilful? What joy might you be denying yourself because you measure in flawless and perfect instead of jolly, thrilling or comical? Don’t waste your talent – at creating a better narrative about yourself and your abilities. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou Do you know what avoidance and procrastination are good for? Getting you off the hook. If you don't produce anything - a result of some sort - people can't count on you and so you can't let them down either, nor can they criticise you, and you can't fail because you didn't even try. Wonderful escape technique! Except, you don't feel wonderful, do you? You don't love avoiding and procrastinating - at least, not once the addictive rush of being off the hook wears off. You want to produce. You want people to be able to count on you. You want to try and succeed. Path A leads to comfort by avoiding risk and discomfort from living a dissatisfying life of not even trying. Path B leads to comfort from being productive and creative and free, but discomfort due to the potential risk that people who don't matter might be unkind. Your choice. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou What would you do, or dare, if you knew you could not fail? What would you say if you knew you wouldn't be rejected, mocked or criticised? Who would you be if you knew it was 100% safe and you'd be loved for it? What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou When we say: "He makes me feel so sad." Or, "She made me feel so angry" Or, "They made me feel so worthless" Or, "I lost my temper because my son was throwing a tantrum" Or, "He/she/they made me..." we're not only giving away control of our state of mind but also refusing to take responsibility for ourselves and our feelings. What makes you feel sad, angry, worthless or any other emotion due to someone else's behaviour, actions or words won't have the same impact on someone else. What you might find offensive, someone else might find funny. So, is it the offending person that's the issue or your attitude? Is it the offending person that must change or your own behaviour, actions, words or feelings? What would it look like if you took control and responsibility for your own feelings and reactions? And let others take responsibility for their words and actions? What would it look like if instead of saying “he made me feel...” you say “I choose to feel...” What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou 80% of social media comments make up 20% of people's views. A minority voice is thus the loudest. But who are the people who can't resist commenting with abuse, harsh words, anger and insults? Why do they not believe in "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Or, "treat others like you'd like to be treated yourself?" In all honesty, I do it myself - harshly judge things I see or read online - but just in my head and then I pause, reflect and reframe, realising my anger and instant reaction are based on my issues, not the person triggering me. I’m responsible for my triggers, not them. What would a world, and social media, look like if we reflect rather than react? If we use a voice of compassion over criticism? What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? Remember though - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou What would happen if you started looking back at your life and said: I did the best I could with what I had - the knowledge, resources, and support available to me at that time? How might that change your attitude towards yourself and the sort of cringe-worthy or angering memories you replay from time to time (especially at 3 am)? Because you did. Looking back at your past choices and berating yourself because you know better now is as helpful as expecting a baby to be born a marathon runner. It's unrealistic and impossible. Instead, try and congratulate yourself for knowing better now. Or, for realising that you might find a different way going forward. The first step is always self-awareness. What's the story you tell yourself, and is it helpful or hindering? But remember - it's your life, your choice! After all, this is the Manual of YOU! Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices! #CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalLiving #ConnectingCommunities #ReframingNarratives #TheManualOfYou |
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